I always, always, ALWAYS think about how my life would be if I did not have Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue. I was diagnosed April 2000 and my life has never been the same since. What if I didn’t have the pain, what if I wasn’t constantly tired, what if I didn’t have Candida?
I wanted to be a teacher. I LOVED teaching 3rd grade and I was good. I was only able to make four years in the classroom before my symptoms started to progress. My happy place was in the classroom, with my students. I just couldn’t keep up the pace, the fibro fog started to set in and I was forgetting words and numbers while I would be in the middle of a lesson. Talking to parents and forget what word I was going to say in the middle of a sentence. It got to be humiliating and embarrassing. My husband and I had to make a very hard decision, it was time to end my dream.
I know life would have been much different. Not struggling financially, having the financial freedom as newlyweds. Fulfilling my dream, teaching a child to read.
I had plans to go back to school to get my Master’s Degree and become a Reading Specialist. There is nothing more rewarding than witnessing a child who is struggling with phonetics, suddenly “get it.” To see their face when it clicks and all the sounds and blends come together and the word forms from their mind and out of their mouth.
I can remember when I would not be tired when getting home from work, having ENERGY, vitality, stamina. My joints never bothering me, never aching. To be able to fall asleep (without meds) and wake up rested and refreshed. Happiness, fulfillment, and having my own self worth.
Everyday I think “What if I wake up rejuvenated, having spunk and the next day, and the next…..?” Oh, how wonderful, how truly miraculous, phenomenal, and my prayers answered.