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It’s all right letting yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back.”  ~ Mick Jagger

Who would thought Mick would inspire me? I love this quote!!

 

 By Definition, according to Wikipedia:

Self-esteem is a term in psychology to reflect a person‘s overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own worth. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs (for example, “I am competent”, “I am worthy”) and emotions such as triumph, despair, pride and shame.

When you have a chronic illness or any kind of illness it doesn’t just affect your body and immune system, it creeps into your soul and tries to overtake that too.  It doesn’t matter how strong a person’s psyche is (or was), your pride is at stake. You are not who you once were, and begin to feel like you will never get back to that person.

I am going through this now. I was a gymnast and a dancer at one time and very, very healthy. I bubbled over with energy and happiness, always smiling.  Always moving, never sitting still.

Where did that girl go? How did I wind up with a sick body and a weak mind? What does it take to get control back of myself, my energy. Some days it seems like it is possible, some days are good. Most days are not, depression sets in, flares come out from nowhere, aches and pains in places that didn’t even hurt when I was training my hardest.

My two biggest challenges at this point in my life are my low energy levels and depression and low self-esteem.

My weight is at its lowest and some days I don’t eat. I know what you are thinking, and that is, you need food to have energy. I know what I have to do, I’ve already written about this. Reading the health blogs and articles in magazines, I know what I have to do, but would someone please tell my mind.

What does this have to do with self-esteem? Everything!

I never had a good self-esteem before all of my health issues started, so add a weak immune system to the mix and there you have it. Feeling bad effects your relationships, your work ethics, which has led me to guilt. I start to second guess my capabilities:

OK, so not just no, HELL NO.

I refuse to let anything stand in my way of living a good life and providing a good life for my family. I have so many plans, so much that I want to do, so much that I WILL DO!

I may not be able to run circles around you, out cook you, or have as much energy than you, but I will not let this eat away my self-worth. I will do what I can do, and be happy with that?

I am not finished pumping myself up, there is more to come!!

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